No More Networking

Over the past two days, I have had incredible conversations with two women; one was with a former colleague and friend, and the other was with a social acquaintance whom I have engaged with over the years via social media platforms. Both are brilliant and accomplished women, and both conversations were professionally focused. To me, they represent the best kind of networking, networking that is based on shared interests and common perspectives. This type of networking often takes time because it requires the development of some type of relationship.

These interactions caused me to reflect on my thoughts about networking.

Truth be told, I have resented networking. I grew up, went to college, and entered the workforce believing that if you worked hard, played by the rules, and demonstrated your abilities, then you would naturally progress through a professional structure. Clearly, I was naïve at best and maybe just wrong. I watched people advance based on relationships rather than performance and, in some cases, as a way to move an unwanted person to another position.

I struggled to find my place professionally. At the time, security was one of my core values. I needed to have a steady job and a stable income to function and feel aligned. I was risk averse and willing to be unhappy and unfulfilled professionally to avoid feeling that I may not be able to take care of myself.

Some friends began attending networking events. The idea of such an event was uncomfortable for me. It seemed very transactional and superficial. I attended a couple of events, and I was, in fact, remarkably uncomfortable and awkward. These early events, combined with some presentations on networking focused on volume, transactions, and branding, left a bad taste in my mouth.

NO MORE NETWORKING.

Then, years later, I experienced something that transformed how I thought about networking. I experienced what happened when relationships led to opportunities when people who know and value your strengths and talents connect you to the next person or the next opportunity. I experienced community and the networking that naturally occurs within a community.

In a Harvard Business Review IdeaCast, Curt Nickisch and Susan McPherson discuss the importance of meaningful connections and interactions in contrast to the transactional nature of networking. According to McPherson, this type of connection requires self-reflection.

These ideas of self-awareness and meaningful connection provide the foundations for individual authenticity. When you know who you are and can behave in alignment with who you are, you can create meaningful connections. However, networking, particularly social networking online and traditional networking events, can impede authenticity.

I believe that creating spaces where people can authentically share who they are is the foundation for community. Where there is connection through authenticity, community can form. This community formation creates an internal network that can contribute to personal and professional development opportunities and offer meaningful, holistic support to community members.

Reference:

HBR IdeaCast. Harvard Business Review. 2021. https://hbr.org/podcast/2021/07/stop-networking-start-connecting